Five years ago today, Tom and I were newly married, just mulling over the whole idea of having kids. We slept in on Saturday mornings and made leisurely trips to the bookstore. We attended happy hours and saw movies that actually started after 7:00pm.
Four years ago today, I was coming off a restless night. Things didn’t feel right, and I had slept on the couch in between late night walks. During an early morning visit to the OB, she pressed gently on your head, which had apparently been holding in my already broken water. When your head moved, the floodgates opened. A week and a half early, we knew we were going to meet you that day.
From the day of your birth, you have been the same…unpredictable, surprising, and on your very own schedule (which you never care to share with us). You are stubborn with a will of steel, and heaven forbid anyone get in your way. My mother, who has seen hundreds of children in her day, declares you one of the most “challenging” children she’s met, especially on days that I’m driven to tears. But we both know, if we can just keep you out of jail, you will do amazing things some day.
Hand in hand with your stubborn will is a fearless determination. It is as if it hasn’t even occurred to you that there’s a possibility you might not be able to do something. It’s just a matter of coming up with the right plan. We haven’t really given you free access to your loft, so we keep a gate at the base of the stairs. One day I walked into your room to discover you on the top step…but on the outside of the stairs. You had used the one inch of stair on the outside of the rail to make your way up. From eight feet up, you were beaming, so proud of what you had figured out how to do without breaking the rules.
We got you the Playmobil castle for your birthday. You are entrenched in the world of princesses, so this was our compromise. We refuse to go headlong into the world of Disney’s Twelve Dancing Barbie Princesses, but there’s enough pink on this castle to make any princess proud.
And although you like the castle, your favorite gift by far was the frog anatomy model that you fell in love with at the Discovery Channel store. It has been your best friend, and you don’t even seem fazed by the fact that his liver and kidneys keep falling out. The latter part of the evening was spent setting up a birthday party for Frog with hats and wooden carrots on pink beanbag pillows. You even used your new colored tape to wrap presents.
I miss sleeping in. I miss those leisurely trips to the bookstore. But I will get to do that again soon enough, I imagine. And I will probably wistfully wish you were there, dragging me through the aisles of books or snuggling into our bed. I must remind myself to savor this amazing and exhausting time in my life. I can’t believe four years have rushed by already. I am floored at what a creative, complicated, and confident person you have become.
Somewhere in between a frog and a princess, I wouldn’t and couldn’t imagine you any other way. Happy birthday.