Sneak preview

The facility where Neko takes gymnastics had a special one-day camp today. From 10am-2pm she’d be in camp, and I was free to go. Without her.

As I left with just Shep and Ellery in tow, I felt a little empty. Whenever I’m not with Neko, she’s usually with Tom or my family. Or the occasional babysitter. But today she was off on her own, which is a big adjustment for her. And me. And Shep.

When we got in the car, Shep looked around, and asked, “Neko?” He’s never really known life without her. She’s always there, the everpresent leader in each day. When we got to the zoo, Shep clung to my leg. He’s doing this lately, being a little bit shy of new people. But I think this time he was a little shy of being on his own, with no Neko to follow as she charges off to the manatee house or the gorillas. He had to make his own decisions.

It took him a while to warm up. He didn’t want to wander far without me. But within the hour, he was off and running, pretending to be a bird, with his arms outstretched and flapping. “Flying!” he’d shout as he ran. It was kind of like he was at the zoo for the first time. Instead of keeping Neko’s 4-year-old pace, he took his time. When he caught sight of an animal, he’d point his finger and yell, “Oo! Oo! Ooooo!” He was too excited to find the words. By the time we got on the train, he was positively beaming.

When I dropped Neko off, she had been reluctant to let me go. I had to take a moment where her attention was turned to a box of crayons to make a clean getaway. But when I picked her up, she was bouncing with excitement. “Would you like to go again sometime?” and she didn’t hesitate to give me an enthusiastic “Yes!”

The rest of the day was, dare I say, blissfully peaceful. Neko and Shep got along, having clearly missed one another earlier in the day. After naps we all dogpiled on the couch, and where an absurd number of kisses and hugs and snuggles were had by all.

I think we’re ready. I have no regrets about keeping Neko out of preschool this year, but she’s clearly ready to take that step now. She needs to test her wings and gain a little independence. And Shep needs to see what life is like not always being in her shadow. And I need to be eased into letting her go.

And I think I’m okay with that. As long as everyone promises to come back and dogpile on the couch when the day is done.