Category: mumbling

It’s been busy around here. Between Pitchfork and the funeral, which was today, Tom has been gone a lot. Susie moved yesterday and Bonnie moves tomorrow. Really, what are the odds of both my sisters moving in the same week?

To top it off, Neko had her first night without a pacifier last night. She’s been a junkie since her first few weeks of life. Since she was three we had limited her use to naps and bedtime, but recently we’ve been talking about her giving it up.

I’ve been trying hard not to involve shame or the idea that it’s a “baby” thing. I personally have no issues with it—we all have our comfort items that calm and soothe, they’re just more socially acceptable. No one seems to take issue with kids sucking their thumbs at age five, but admit that your kid has a pacifier and people are horrified. But I know that permanent teeth are just around the corner, and I don’t want to induce more orthodontic challenges than necessary. Plus, I had this fear that she’d be made fun of if someone in kindergarten found out. At the moment, she has no shame about it, and I’d like it to stay that way.

Like I said, we’ve been talking about the possibility of giving it up. And this afternoon, of all times, the subject came up. I suggested that maybe we could have a party the first night she tried doing without. After Shep and Ellery were asleep, she could get into the big bed with Tom and I and we could watch a movie and eat popcorn. She liked the idea, and said she’d try. Tonight.

It all went pretty well except for the part where Cars kept skipping and we ended up playing for a bit instead of the movie. But there was popcorn, and then I laid in bed with her while she protested and squirmed and declared she couldn’t do it. But within 15 minutes, she drifted off to sleep. Easier than I thought, I’ll admit.

I’d be celebrating a lot more if Ellery hadn’t picked last night to have three-hour scream fest which finally trailed off less than an hour before Tom awoke at 4am to catch his flight to the funeral.

Today? Quite tired and no photo, but huge milestones achieved.

Tom has been away at the Pitchfork Music Festival since Friday. And while my four days alone with three children actually went surprisingly well, I am now, upon his return, prostrate like a limp noodle and may remain that way for some time.

While my children are exhausting just in their day-to-day selves, that wasn’t my biggest challenge. It’s that they lay in wait early in the morning, like hunters, and the minute they hear my feet touch the floor, they come out of hiding at about 400 miles per hour, and don’t slow down until their head hits the pillow in the evening. If I just had 30 minutes to put in my contacts, take a quick shower, check my email, and start the coffee before they ambush me, I would be a far more pleasant person.

But they don’t. So I didn’t. And this all begins somewhere between 6 and 6:30am, so by evening I’m exhausted, but have had not one minute to myself, so then I stay up way too late trying to squeeze in some time to do the dishes and get a little “me” time.

Single parents? My hat’s off to ya.

Not a great mom day today. Too much yelling. Not enough good stuff. Shep is pushing me to the brink, but not offering up any last-minute sweetness which usually makes me reel him back in for a big hug and forgiveness.

Whoever coined the phrase “terrible twos” lived in a whole other dimension. It is a ridiculous misnomer. It gives you the false idea that the hardships you go through when they’re two are the worst of it, but then they turn around and become three and become exponentially more difficult. Like “If I just left them with a neighbor for the next six months would anyone frown upon that?” difficult.

I know it will ease up. It did with Neko. But until then? I could use some extra hugs.