Neko made it outside for about seven minutes, and then decided the cold outweighed the winter wonderland. So in our attempt keep everyone happy and peaceful, I threw her in a massive bubble bath.
Category: Neko
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Campfire
I really should have been mad that Neko raided my art supplies and got out the pipe cleaner bin without asking. But, um, she’s made some really cool stuff with them. A spiderweb, and jellyfish, and then this fabulous campfire.
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Music theory
(This post is especially for Tom and Dan, who will appreciate it most.)
Neko came bursting out of her room after quiet time. She brought with her this picture, and placed it on the piano. “This is my music!” she said, and then sat down to play me a concert. (Quite lovely, if you’d like my completely biased opinion.)
Then she began to explain what she’d drawn. Those wavy lines? That is the music. Every time there’s a hump, she has to play a note. Then her song (even though there were no words) was about the clouds and the sun. Whenever she played the low notes, that was the clouds. And when she played the high notes, that was the sun. And at the end, when she played lots of high notes, that means that the sun won.
Sometimes I’m just amazed at how all those big thoughts get into that little head.
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Together
For almost three years, Tom and have been negotiating with two stubborn parties. No, not Israel and Palestine (although I often mutter that our house feels like the Gaza strip). It’s Neko and Shep.
When Shep came along, I told Tom we’d have to be tough negotiators. We’d have to be resilient, never back down, and above all else, support the peace process. I remember in my house growing up, my parents were flexible on many things, and there was room to negotiate on many fronts. But being unkind? Not acceptable.
And so we’ve hammered it home to the kids. Every day for three years. Don’t hit. Don’t push. We don’t treat each other that way. Think of a better way to say that. Use kind words.
Today it has finally paid off.
At one point this morning, Tom and I looked up at each other, and then the clock, and then back at each other. For an hour and half, Neko and Shep played together. They pretended they were going on vacation. We’d better pack our suitcases! Ooooh, look! Here’s our room! How lovely. Let’s go to the beach! We’ll need bathing suits. And towels. Should we have a picnic? I think we should have snacks.
On and on it went. Imaginative, creative, cooperative play.
Now, they’ve been playing together more and more these days, but this was different. It was so long and involved, and so thoughtfully negotiated. And both of them could barely contain their exuberance.
At one point, while they were fishing with rubber snakes off the edge of Neko’s loft, I went in and snapped this quick photo. Which, from the outside, is really nothing. Just a snake which I didn’t linger long enough to get in focus. But to me, it is a picture of something big and wonderful and deeply satisfying. Something I would have certainly disrupted if I’d stayed long enough to focus.
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Dinosaur Bones
When I checked in on Neko during quiet time, I was surprised to discover her face down on the floor with the book Dinosaur Bones, markers and paper. She was faithfully trying to recreate one of the spreads in the book.
I rarely see her have such focus and concentration, and I have to say my heart skipped a beat at the result.
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The kid’s got timing
Wednesday was a rough morning. School cancelled again, kids waking up all night. It was one of those grouchy mornings where you feel the world has served you an injustice, but, unfortunately, your spouse feels the same way, so you both just get grouchy with each other.
I swear we weren’t being grouchy at each other in front of the kids. Truly. Which is why Tom and I were both shocked when Neko walked up with a freshly-drawn picture in her hand. “This is a picture of when you guys got married.”
And then we had a big family hug and decided being grouchy was stupid.
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Good fortune
Yesterday we hosted playgroup, which was both wonderful and terrible all at the same time. Wonderful because we love having all these great people come over and play. What a fabulous way to pass the day! Terrible because between the sick and the snow, all my kids are off schedule, way behind on their sleep and cranky.
Ellery dealt with this by taking a three hour morning nap. Which was good, because the entire morning Shep was beyond high-maintenance. Everything that went wrong was a complete catastrophe, and resulted in him hurling his body to the ground, wailing in tears and frustration. And when I say all morning, I mean ALL MORNING. I swear I spent 30 minutes and three yogurt tubes trying to figure out that he wanted the yogurt tube cut in half, and he just wanted half, and no, not that half, I want the half with the cow on it and please hand it to me on a diamond encrusted platter, and don’t forget to tidy up on your way out. The whole morning was like that.
Neko was doing just fine until the very end, where a little thing threw her over the edge, and for the first time in a very long time, she threw a knock-down, full-on temper tantrum. Screaming, yelling, kicking, wailing. I’m not sure I even said goodbye to anyone. That anger transitioned to anger about going to quiet time, which she then kicked and screamed and wailed about not wanting to have quiet time and you would have thought I was asking her give away her favorite toy, it was such an awful request.
30 minutes later I got her settled, and was finally able to go to work, leaving a very wide-eyed babysitter in my wake.
When I returned home, everyone had napped and was back to normal.
After dinner, Neko reminded me I had promised her a fortune cookie, so she cracked it open and I read her fortune, “Do not give up; the beginning is always the hardest.” I explained that meant that sometimes things are hard at the beginning, but if you persevere, they get easier.
Neko got quiet and thoughtful for a moment and then said, “Just like quiet time today. That was very hard at the beginning. But it did get easier.” And then she smiled and hugged me, and I began to think that five is going to be a pretty wonderful year.
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DIY Kids
A week or so back, Tom took the kids while I got away for a few hours. That night, when I arrived home, there was a present waiting for me. Inspired by the book DIY Kids, Tom and Neko had made me this little stuffed creature. Neko did the design and cutting and Tom did the sewing.
This the good stuff of parenting.
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Blue
Neko was extra quiet during quiet time a few days back. The kind of quiet where she’s either asleep, deeply engrossed in a project or play, or doing some experiment that ultimately results in significant damage to an object or another person.
Fortunately, it was the second option.
She spent nearly an hour turning this stuffed dog into a blue dog, and later added spots. She was very thorough, down to wrapping its little tail.
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Undersea tank
I know every parent thinks their kids are brilliant, but, dude, have you seen Neko’s aquarium? She constructed it while my back was turned and I was making lunch. Made using two bins from the playroom and a washcloth, and carefully pulled together items that belonged in a water environment. After our soup, I helped her spell for the label.
These covert creative bursts have been happening a lot these days.