The Farm Report

Category: Wendy

  • Mom’s night out

    Mom’s night out

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    Tonight all the moms from our playgroup got together to hit the town. We all piled into Jodi’s minivan, and headed for the Big City. Well, to a suburb outside the Big City. But we were out of town, right?

    I’m a little embarrassed to acknowledge what we did on our night out, because it generally is followed by a blank stare and someone’s mouth hanging in the “Huh?” position. First, we went to dinner, which is fairly respectable. And I even drank a whole margarita, which, considering I’ve been pregnant or breastfeeding for the last 1.5 years, it’s really like I drank three or four drinks.

    And the we went to…are you ready? The teacher’s supply store.

    It’s not as lame as it sounds. Really.

    When the bulk of your time is spent entertaining children under five, suddenly the things you wish to acquire make a dramatic shift. Items that take up little space but can occupy children for hours on end? That is gold, my friends.

    So there we were, seven moms walking up and down the aisles of the teacher’s supply store, slackjawed, mumbling things like, “Did you see that root vegetable growing kit? Dude, that could occupy at least fifteen minutes a day for, like, weeks! Aisle six!”

    Okay, maybe it’s lame, but I embrace the lameness and I’m sure we will find something just as lame to do next month and it will be awesome because we will all be together and no one is tugging on us or spitting up and we’ll be able to talk in full sentences.

  • I…did…a real thing!

    I…did…a real thing!

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    Every now and then I get a real job and I have to actually make something that doesn’t involve a client under the age of five. And it’s kind of nice to stretch my brain in that direction a bit.

    Nope, it’s not rocket science, but it never spit up on me or threw a temper tantrum. Not even once.

  • Rare photo session

    Rare photo session

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    After Neko reenacted her beanbag scene for me, she demanded that I take more pictures. Of her. Willingly.

    This never happens any more. Mostly she hides from the camera and you have to tell her you’re taking a picture of that thing right behind her in order to sneak in a halfway decent shot.

    Regardless, she jumped around and posed and I wish I had known she was going to be up for a photo shoot because I would have had a better setting and lighting. But I’ll take what I can get.

    Then she demanded that I get in the picture. And I’m posting them, even though my hair is a disaster and no one should have to examine their wrinkles this closely and I really need to track down the dentist about those implants. Because it’s hard to tell your child to quit hiding from the camera when you spend all your time trying to do the same thing.

  • iPhone-tabulous

    iPhone-tabulous

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    I have been waiting for the iPhone for almost seven years, according to my calculations. I had a cell phone, my laptop, and a Palm, but I knew that someday Apple would put them all together in some incredibly beautiful package, but it was just a matter of when that would happen.

    It’s been a long wait.

    So when Apple finally announced the iPhone, there was not even a discussion of whether or not I would be getting one, it was more a discussion of which day do I need to leave open in my schedule to get my hands on this Mighty Tool.

    If you’ve been keeping up, you’ll notice we’ve been on vacation. We came screeching into our driveway at 5pm, and after a quick feeding, Ellery and I jumped in the car and sped off to the Apple store. Chris and Renita had kept me posted on their progress on the line at the AT&T store, and it didn’t sound hopeful that there would be any left by the time I arrived. I figured that at least if I’m at the Apple store, I can feel like I’m part of the party, even if I don’t leave with an iPhone.

    I got there at 6:05pm, and the line was no where near as bad as I thought…maybe 100 people, but I was cautioned that many people had already gone in and emerged with their phones. But in groups of ten, they kept letting people in. And kudos to those Apple folks—they really know how to throw a party. Every Apple store emplyee must have been there, and with each new ten people they let out a big cheer and applauded as people made their way to the back of the store to receive their phone. I know the pictures make it look a little more like you’re being checked in for a prison term, but I only had my small camera and I’m really short.

    I know at this point those of you who are not total Macheads are thinking, “Um, it’s just a phone. And you remember, you’re paying them. A lot. Remember? No wonder they’re cheering.”

    It’s tough to explain. There was just this energy from everyone that something really cool was happening that would change the way we operate our lives. And I know that sounds silly, and that it’s just one more piece of technology in my life, but I have to tell you that this one thing is going to eliminate about ten other things in my life. Plus, it’s just so BEAUTIFUL.

    By far, the best part of the night is when I got to the counter to get my phone, and I asked if they had a limit of how many I could buy. I wanted one, and so did Tom. And Susie wanted one, but Doug was out of town, so she had to watch the kids. And Chris wanted one for Dan’s birthday. So that’s four. And the limit was two per person. So when I sighed that I would just have to get two, the salesman suddenly looked up and pointed at Ellery and said, “But she could get two as well, and then you’d have four!” I think he was kind of joking at first, but before I knew it, he had checked with his manager and she was sizing Ellery up and said, “Well, she looks like a person to me. Two per person!”

    So I walked out with four iPhones. And a melting credit card.

    Is it everything I thought it would be? I need a bolder bold to fully express my sentiment, but the answer is YES. It is amazing. It is beautiful. It is delicious in more ways than I can describe. I can give you the whole schpiel someday in person, because to discuss it without actually touching it is just not doing it justice. When I saw a review by the Wall Street Journal tech guy who was stumbling over words trying to give his review, I didn’t know what to think, but now I get it. You need to touch it to understand.

    Email to come with my new phone number. Except for you Chamber of Commerce solicitors—keep using that old one.

  • And we’re off!

    Today Susie and I left for IKEA. Somehow we managed to make a four hour drive take eight hours, but we did ultimately make it there.

  • I did it.

    On May 1st I secretly made a promise to myself that I would try to blog every day in May. Of course, I didn’t tell anyone because then people would be all like, “Um, you missed May 23rd.”

    But I didn’t. Yay, me!

  • Mother’s Day

    Mother’s Day

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    I’m still adjusting to the fact that when Mother’s Day rolls around, it’s not just about remembering to call my mom. I get to celebrate, too. Nutty.

    Tom vacated the hotel early to get home and take over the kids from my mom, leaving me to have a leisurely breakfast with friends and do some shopping at my own speed. Is it bad to celebrate Mother’s Day by not being with your kids?

    Don’t scorn me yet. I made it home by mid-afternoon, in time to receive my homemade t-shirt and many big hugs and kisses. Neko drew a picture, folded the paper, and wrote “Mom” on it without any help from an adult. Kate said when they learn to write it melts your heart, and I’m finding that she’s right on the money.

    Later I demanded we learn how to use the timer on the camera and take a quick family portrait and then the kids practiced their rock star moves where they take a running start and drop to their knees for a sliding finish. (Video to follow, I swear.) Shep demanded that Tom and I try it a few times, but knees over the age of thirty are clearly not meant for such activities.

    Tomorrow, back to the mom trenches. Today? A supastar. (With bruises on her knees to prove it.)

  • Mom stuff

    Mom stuff

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    The first photo is a chalk drawing of me and all of our family surrounding me. Maybe Neko sees us getting a few more pets someday, but this can’t possibly be representative of children.

    The last is the three chickas in Neko’s bed. It might be an absurdly blurry photo, but it’s one of those moments I’d like to remember.

  • Momergency

    Momergency

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    The Momergency Kit is finally up on the site. It feels so good to have something DONE. We got some nice press from Babygadget, which is always exciting, and it forced me to finish the details when the first order came in.

    Now I need to get back to the kid schedule project…

  • Sick

    I’m so sick. Sicker than I’ve been in ages. I think my sinuses are packed with concrete, and it’s possible I may never breathe out of both nostrils at the same time again.

    Someday I will organize and upload the Disney photos. I swear.