For almost three years, Tom and have been negotiating with two stubborn parties. No, not Israel and Palestine (although I often mutter that our house feels like the Gaza strip). It’s Neko and Shep.

When Shep came along, I told Tom we’d have to be tough negotiators. We’d have to be resilient, never back down, and above all else, support the peace process. I remember in my house growing up, my parents were flexible on many things, and there was room to negotiate on many fronts. But being unkind? Not acceptable.

And so we’ve hammered it home to the kids. Every day for three years. Don’t hit. Don’t push. We don’t treat each other that way. Think of a better way to say that. Use kind words.

Today it has finally paid off.

At one point this morning, Tom and I looked up at each other, and then the clock, and then back at each other. For an hour and half, Neko and Shep played together. They pretended they were going on vacation. We’d better pack our suitcases! Ooooh, look! Here’s our room! How lovely. Let’s go to the beach! We’ll need bathing suits. And towels. Should we have a picnic? I think we should have snacks.

On and on it went. Imaginative, creative, cooperative play.

Now, they’ve been playing together more and more these days, but this was different. It was so long and involved, and so thoughtfully negotiated. And both of them could barely contain their exuberance.

At one point, while they were fishing with rubber snakes off the edge of Neko’s loft, I went in and snapped this quick photo. Which, from the outside, is really nothing. Just a snake which I didn’t linger long enough to get in focus. But to me, it is a picture of something big and wonderful and deeply satisfying. Something I would have certainly disrupted if I’d stayed long enough to focus.