The Farm Report

  • Tom & Wendy vs. The Basement

    Tom & Wendy vs. The Basement

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    We scored Jen and her roommate for seven hours in a row to watch all of our kids and Chris and Alex. I’m not sure whether to call them brave or naive. But I’m fairly certain that no one will have to press the issue of family planning on either of them even again.

    Anyway, we waged war against our basement and Susie and Doug tackled their garage.

    This is instance #876 where I am reminded that life is completely different than pre-kids. In the old days, cleaning the basement meant a day of hard work, and, oh, I might miss my afternoon nap. Today? Weeks in the planning and at least an hour or two packing and prep work the night before of lunches, clothes, diapers, etc.

    Although we’re not totally done, I’m proud to say there’s room for tricycles and balls and running and play.

  • Addendum

    We finally dragged the kids out of the house at the end of the day and took them to the playground. While I took Ellery for a walk and watched Neko ride her bike, Tom took Shep to the swings.

    They have this great swing with a five-point harness, so you can swing the kids really high. Tom kept pushing Shep higher and noted that he looked like he was almost upside down. To which Shep replied, “I’m upside down! Like that baby!”

    Apparently Shep gleaned something from our early morning anatomy lesson, too.

  • Saturday (compacted)

    Saturday (compacted)

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    If you ever wanted a peek into my weird life, this series of photos will do it.

    1. Neko balancing more things on her head and insisting on photo documentation.

    2. Shep, still enjoying playing the part of dog/Sizzles, demanding to go into Daisy’s crate and then settling in for a nice snack. (Note to Children’s Services: Yes, he did ask to go in there, and we’re always just a few feet away, especially Neko, who would like to know when it’s her turn.)

    3. The bag of carryout from last night. Tom called it in and I picked it up, which I decided was a terrible arrangement once Tom informed me he had placed the order under the name “Hotpants”.

    4. The human body book I had to refer to when, at 9:15am, Neko demanded to know how babies get out of a mom’s belly. That is too early in the day to be discussing human anatomy in a thoughtful, delicate manner.

    5. Tom introduces the kids to the banana phone (while they eat lunch with the model dissection frog). They think it very clever and cutting edge, until he introduces them to…

    6. The clementine phone, which is much more portable and compact.

    Ellery was somewhere there in the middle of it all, contemplating what to discuss with her therapist first. Her brother’s desire to hang out in a dog crate, her sister’s love for a model dissection frog, or her father encouraging everyone to talk into random pieces of produce? A conundrum, indeed.

  • Bowl stacking

    Bowl stacking

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    I know, it’s not like she’s performing in Cirque du Soleil, but these days, when my camera-shy child demands that I take photos, I comply.

  • Dishpan hands

    Dishpan hands

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    Oh, Madge, I sure could use you and your Palmolive right about now.

    Our dishwasher is dead. Again. I’m convinced we have a lemon, but I’m not sure there are lemon laws regarding dishwashers.

    We had this same model of dishwasher at our old house, and it was a workhorse. Never gave us trouble. But this one? We’re considering inviting the repair guy to Thanksgiving because we see so much of him.

    He will be returning in a few days with the four thousand parts it will require to fix it (thankfully, under warranty), but until then, we’re washing everything by hand.

    I am now convinced that there should be a state-sponsored program that when you have your third child, they just issue you a dishwasher, because clearly no family of five can survive without one. I feel like I’ve been washing dishes non-stop since it broke and my hands are raw and cracking. Seriously. No exaggeration.

    My hat goes off to my parents and large families who live(d) day to day without this modern marvel.

  • Fire alarm

    Fire alarm

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    Every week, Neko’s preschool talks about a letter of the alphabet. A few weeks ago, it was the letter F. Sometime during that week, a firefighter came to visit and brought with him his fire truck. A few weeks later, we were introduced to the book, “Dot the Fire Dog.” Between Dot and the visit by the fire crew, Neko has now developed a full-on fire phobia.

    At first, I think it really was fear of fire. When she woke from bad dreams, she was visibly shaking and crying real tears. But now I think we’ve moved on to a new phase that involves 30% fear and 70% desire to stay up late and get extra attention from mom and dad.

    I keep finding these articles on parenting sites that encourage me to recognize my daughter’s fear and not minimize it. But omigosh if I have to talk about the safety of our house, smoke detectors, fire extinguishers and the like one more time I might need one of those coffees with Bailey’s that is really more Bailey’s than coffee and a long, hot bath.

  • Let-down

    As of a few days ago, Ellery officially weaned. I’m not exactly sure when our last nursing session was, and for that, I’m actually grateful. I hate goodbyes. I’m someone who likes to pretend that the last time I’m going to see someone before they move or go on holiday is actually the second-to-last time. The last time of anything is just always kind of morose and a big bummer and I hate that feeling of turning, walking away, and knowing things will never be the same as they were just moments ago. So it was best that it was all a little unclear, or I might have had some over-analyzed, emotional breakdown.

    Anyway, the writing had been on the wall for some time. Ellery was never much of a comfort nurser…she was mostly there for the meal. When solid foods came along, she was far more interested in those. And nursing was rarely a quiet event these days, as she was far more intrigued by the going-ons in the lives of Neko and Shep than the snack bar on the couch. So between real food and competing entertainment, she was dropping nursing sessions right and left.

    And as it plays out, it seems to have been a good time for both of us. She doesn’t seem to be missing it and I haven’t had any discomfort. I feel like we had some unspoken agreement that it was time.

    I know it sounds a little schmaltzy and sentimental to give it this much thought, but I’ve spent a good part of the last five years nursing a baby, so it’s a little bittersweet to think those days are behind me. But I’m less sad than I thought I’d be. I’m a bit nostalgic, thinking we’re nearing the end of “baby” days. Ellery turns one in two weeks, and before I know it, she’ll be a toddler. I know everyone says it, but it really does seem like yesterday that Neko was Ellery’s age, and now she’s this walking talking kid with opinions and feelings and long legs and, oh, did I mention the opinions?

    While I’m a bit down, I’m excited about what lies ahead, too. In a few years everyone will be potty trained and able to buckle themselves into the car unassisted. Each person will be able to carry their own stuff, and the possibilities for family outings and vacations will increase exponentially. We can go out to dinner and have conversations instead of simply performing crisis management. And maybe, just maybe, someday Tom and I will wake up in the morning before they do. And feel well-rested.

    There’s good stuff ahead, I’m thinking.

    And in the short term? I’m looking forward to ceremonially burning all my stretched-out, dingy, clinical cotton nursing bras and buying some new ones that fit. You know, as soon as I figure out what size I really am.

  • Neko’s museum

    Neko’s museum

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    We have entered this magical stage in life when all of a sudden Neko draws or makes or says something, and we do a double-take because there’s actually a good amount of thinking and planning behind it. It really is amazing, watching her brain tick away as she thinks through things at a completely new scale.

    I turned around in the middle of trying to unpack a box in the basement, and Neko had built this structure with blocks. “It’s a museum,” she said. She had carefully built a grand entrance, prominently featured on most museums we visit, and then several rooms that lay beyond. There were doorways, and one of the rooms, she pointed out, was a theatre. She used every single block in the bag to build her museum. I can’t imagine what it would have become if we’d had more blocks.

  • Mother of the Year

    Mother of the Year

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    I’m not sure if I should be more embarrassed about the fact that Ellery’s current favorite activity is going through the recycling, or the fact that I actually let her do it.

    In my defense, I should mention that everything is washed and there aren’t any sharp objects, and, dude, it keeps her busy for, like, 20 MINUTES.

  • Model Magic

    Model Magic

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    We cracked out some Model Magic today. It had been sitting in a bin for some time, so we were a bit challenged to find some that was easy enough to work with. But Neko was determined, and came up with these two pieces.

    One is a snake, which is pretty obvious. The other is a person, which would be much more obvious if I hadn’t photographed it upside-down.