I am tired of all this judgmental Mommy stuff. I really am over it.
Maybe I hit the wall tonight when Chris sent me a link to this blog, which holds all of three posts, one of which is a big diatribe that declares the Momergency Kit “robs mothers (and their children) of the uncomfortable, difficult and often frustrating moments of life that promote growth and resiliency.” Clearly, the Momergency Kit is not her cup of tea, but is it necessary to grind someone else into the ground while making your point?
But, Chris, don’t feel bad for making me grouchy. This is just another in a long list of things that are getting under my skin about the whole mommy culture right now. And the internet is fueling the fire.
Last week, I spent a whole night tossing and turning in bed because I’d read an article a woman had written about her friend’s three-year-old. She loved the mom, but she hated the three-year-old. And the three-year-old she was describing? Pretty much Neko to a tee. I even looked back at the author’s photo and bio to make sure we hadn’t once been friends. The thing that saddened me most, though, is that she never talked to the mom about the child—how the child’s behaviors affected her child negatively, and were there things she could do to elicit better behavior from the child. Instead, she just quit being friends with the mom. And I think I really like this woman. From all her other articles and her bio, she totally sounds like someone I could be good friends with. It just made me so sad that she would quit being my friend because she doesn’t understand my child.
And then I read some other article tonight about over-parenting and other stuff—all very good points—but often made while criticizing other mothers.
Why are we so contentious toward one another? Staying at home v. going back to work. Breast v. bottle. Attachment parenting v. schedules. Pacifiers v. bottles v. thumb-suckers. Early potty-training v. after three. It goes on and on.
I completely admit that I’ve had my share of bitch sessions. Times where I rant and rave about this and that. (I’m doing it right now!) But I think we can all agree that being a mother is hard. Harder than nearly anything we’ve ever had to do. And it is rewarding. More rewarding than nearly anything we’ve done. But at the end of the day, we’re all just trying to do the best we possibly can.
A few weeks ago I was unloading the kids at the park. Everyone needed a diaper changed or shoes put on and then there was the packing of the stroller and snacks and sippy cups and on and on. It probably was a full ten minute process. As I finally got everyone moving, the woman in the car next to me rolled down her window and smiled. “You’re doing a really good job, you know. I just thought I should tell you that.”
And that is what we could use a whole lot more of.
