Breakfast on the porch followed by chalk drawings. Neko’s drawing is of our family, the sun, and a rain cloud.
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Trying not to lose her in the shuffle
As a third child, I’m trying to make sure Ellery doesn’t look back and think we forgot about her on the porch for a few months. But it’s hard. The other two are constantly on the go and moving and climbing on me and asking for things and needing to be fed and clothed and then omigosh where did the whole day go? Then I look down and a little smiling face is looking up at me from the sling and I feel a pang of guilt. I hope I’m giving her enough. I’m a third child, and I seem to have turned out okay, but my mom was superhuman and was used to taking care of seven younger siblings. The three of us must have been cake in comparison.
Anyway, I’m learning to love this little pumpkin a whole lot. She’s so laid back in comparison to the others. Sure, she has her crying jags, but only when she’s hungry or tired. Otherwise, she’s chock full of smiles and good nature. So she must be happy, right?
Ellery, I hope you’re taking in the little hugs and kisses I squeeze in between prepping lunch and tying shoes. I hope you feel like part of the action when we’re singing the alphabet or counting cars. And know that you may not be getting my full attention, but that is fully made up for by your two siblings who think you are quite possibly the most delicious thing on Earth. If she could, Neko would take you to bed with her each night. She would tuck you under her arm and tote you around. Shep wanders over several times a day and looks at me with his furrowed brow and demands with extended arms, “Hold her.” You get more kisses from that kid than your father and I put together.
So hang in there. And just think, when Neko and Shep move out, you will have my full attention and will likely develop eye strain from the sheer volume of eye-rolling you do in response to the vast attention I lavish on you each day.
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Toad #2
When I arrived home from running errands, I found Tom and Neko sitting at the patio table. Clearly working on a surprise for me, I loudly put bags away until Neko appeared around a corner.
“I have a note for you,” she said as she handed me this purple paper. In case you can’t read it, it says “Toady” which is the name of the toad that sat waiting for me in her new bug bucket. We marveled at the toad, at how big she was in comparison to the last toad.
After about half an hour, it was getting dark and it was time to let her go. I love more than anything that Neko is so interested in finding these creatures, but it’s always a struggle when it’s time to let them go. Even sending a ladybug home is a dewey-eyed affair.
I assured her we probably had not seen the last of Toady, that we were sure to see her again this summer. Finally, we let her go and went inside to read some more adventures of Frog and Toad.
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The Tree Bass
Bill the Amazing Cabinet Guy came today to install the first part of the cabinetry in the new wall. I always get excited when Bill comes, because it means our house is about to become a whole lot more organized and more attractive. He built the mudroom cabinetry which still makes my heart beat a little faster when I enter that room.
But today we had even more reason to be excited. He brought with him the latest project he’s been working on in his spare time—a bass which he made out of a hollowed-out piece of wood he found while hiking. He did very little to alter the wood other than clean it up and refine the neck. It’s beautiful. And I’m still kicking myself for not taking a picture of the case, which was equally as amazing.
He says next he’s working on a stand-up bass…
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I hate goodbyes
I’ve always hated goodbyes. If I had my way, I’d go to the big goodbye party the night before, whoop it up, and then conveniently be stuck in traffic during the goodbye itself. I just hate those last words and then turning to go, knowing you probably won’t see those people again for a long time. It’s just all very sad and depressing.
So instead, I put my friend denial to work. I have decided that Zoe’s family is just going on vacation or some other getaway. Before we know it, Zoe will be zipping back into playgroup in a tu-tu, just like before.
As a little gift to the parents, we had a playgroup that I would almost describe as “blissful” in Jodi’s back yard. No big fighting or arguing, and loads of independent play. (Although, we were missing Gregory and Akiko.) The moms got to sit under the trees, eat muffins and actually talk.
What a great way to celebrate Zoe, Kate and Paul’s upcoming vacation.
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The great outdoors
The weather is perfect these days, so we’re spending as much time as we can outside. With the sunshine, we get nice surprises, like my dad showing up with a snake he found in their yard. Neko and Shep were beyond excited about it, and Neko tried to convince my dad it could come live in the frog’s aquarium. (No thank you.)
I bought flowers for the swingset flowerboxes, and Neko and I transplanted them into new pots and put them in place. I was amazed that she was so gentle and was able to do it the right way all by herself. I keep forgetting to give her a chance to do these things. But she did great and was so very proud of herself.
I know the humidity and 95 degree days are coming, but for now, this is glorious.
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More doodling
This is a ladybug dreaming of a party.
For Pete’s sake, will someone please buy this child some paper!
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Doodling
Why, oh why, does Neko do some of her best work on the Doodle Pad? This is a picture of a man dreaming.
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Potluck
Today was the potluck to say goodbye to Kate, Zoe, and Paul since they leave next weekend for a moving tour, which ultimately ends in Denmark, sometime after they have a new baby. I give them big points for undertaking multiple moves and an expanding family all in one shot. I’m excited for all their big changes, but we’re sad to see them go. I feel like we were just really getting to know them. Hopefully, Kate will keep us up-to-date through the magical internet.
It should have been an idyllic evening—perfect weather (sunny and warm), fabulous setting (thank you Molly and Jeff), and good company (playgroup friends and family). And from the photos, you’d think it was, except for the fact that we seem to have no pictures of Zoe, Kate, or Paul. But, then, we thought we’d be staying longer and would have a chance to take some parting shots.
I have no idea what cosmic entities aligned, but Neko was at her worst today. Playing cooperatively with others is a challenge for her on a good day. She just doesn’t fully understand that playing includes give and take. In her ideal world, she makes up all the rules, and everyone follows along behind her like a litter of eager puppies. But playing involves cooperation, give and take. So instead, she just gets mad and storms off. Add to this that she’s starting to become sensitive to what other people think of her, and is easily hurt and frustrated.
So there she was, stealing toys and refusing to play with others or share. When Andrew got sick (arg…I hope we didn’t give him our disease) she ran around like the town crier, spreading the news, without the thought that it might embarrass him. She wanted to play ball with me, but just me, getting mad when Gregory wanted to join in, and then getting mad again when I suggested we take turns hitting the ball.
By the end, she was delighting in her misbehavior, smiling out of the corner of her mouth when I spoke with her. Several unheeded warnings later, we had to go home. Kicking and screaming, we carried her to the car. That’s the thing no one tells you about parenthood, sometimes doing the right thing for your child means you get screwed out of having a good time yourself.
By the time we got home, she was a wreck. Tired and sobbing, we tried to talk through the evening, about how she had hurt people’s feeling and that it can be more fun playing with your friends than by yourself. When she was still sobbing, I asked what was wrong. “I didn’t get to say goodbye to Zoe. And now she’s gone.”
Despite all the bad behavior, I’m thrilled to see her conscience is at work. I think she was sad about leaving the party early, but on reflection, she was most sad about missing her opportunity to say goodbye.
This parenthood thing is so hard. Just when we get in a groove, someone gives the snowglobe of our lives a big shake and everything gets tossed upside down and I feel like I’m starting from scratch again.
